i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Text me some of your sweat
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
