I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
