upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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