Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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