He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize