Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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