I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
you traded sex for a burrito?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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