the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
