she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
