You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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