Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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