Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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