i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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