guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
