for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Watching her eat just hurts me
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
