Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
