eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
