Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
