You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.