At least make sure they are 18
Why
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
please come you make the beer taste better
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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