i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.