Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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