I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize