Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.