Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one

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  (215): i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god (215): ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one http://tfl.nu/ngdq
  Replies (10) Good night (3159) Bad night (556)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy

  (1-843): View more from South Carolina

  i am grossed the fuck out

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  (843): so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy (1-843): i am grossed the fuck out http://tfl.nu/o4kg
  Replies (90) Good night (878) Bad night (6731)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories

  (239): View more from Florida

  He could rock you to sleep

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  (321): I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories (239): He could rock you to sleep http://tfl.nu/6xlx
  Replies (28) Good night (4034) Bad night (1169)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.

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  (801): I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine. http://tfl.nu/flen
  Replies (6) Good night (3718) Bad night (912)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.

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  (864): The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up. http://tfl.nu/edto
  Replies (6) Good night (2375) Bad night (1131)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.

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  (832): I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin. http://tfl.nu/0104
  Replies (19) Good night (2102) Bad night (3513)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it

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  (225): Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it http://tfl.nu/wgow
  Replies (8) Good night (1191) Bad night (805)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?

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  (215): Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you? http://tfl.nu/d57s
  Replies (7) Good night (1538) Bad night (1046)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?

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  (302): How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel? http://tfl.nu/4qia
  Replies (11) Good night (661) Bad night (1411)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky

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  (514): its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky http://tfl.nu/m4rl
  Replies (3) Good night (860) Bad night (786)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.

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  (410): You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple. http://tfl.nu/ksa4
  Replies (3) Good night (985) Bad night (419)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?

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  (330): If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve? http://tfl.nu/pwke
  Replies (1) Good night (1010) Bad night (364)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.

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  (318): I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna. http://tfl.nu/hik5
  Replies (4) Good night (1385) Bad night (420)
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  (209): View more from California

  Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel

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  (209): Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel http://tfl.nu/1v3g
  Replies (15) Good night (1322) Bad night (452)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.

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  (412): Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling. http://tfl.nu/npes
  Replies (11) Good night (1010) Bad night (406)

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