you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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