dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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