so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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