The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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