So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
