The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
