She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Sext me about skeletons
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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