have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
