marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
So many bounce houses so little time
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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