I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
