remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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