It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
