she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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