Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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