At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize