The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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