I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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