i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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