i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
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What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
It's official drugs can't kill me
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
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you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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