is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
