So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
