And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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