have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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