I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
