No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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