You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
