I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize