Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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