I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
