i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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