birth control should be required to get into college
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
