i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize