Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I want to have your abortion
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
My vagina just recognized that song.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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