You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
