fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
