I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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