my vag is so smooth its legendary
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
