Buhtt sex?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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