Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
