why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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