You made me cry and you don't even care
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
